Thursday, September 26, 2013

Day 546 of Eldercare. 26 September, 2013


Talking About Time

She did it again this morning. When I walked by her room at 7:26 this morning, I heard “Seven twenty-six, seven twenty-six, seven twenty six, seven twenty-six, seven twenty six, seven twenty-seven…” like I might hear mornings, evenings, any time that Millie is in bed but not asleep. When she says the time, she is always lying on her right side, with the extra-large-digit clock only about ten inches from her face and, apparently, reading the numbers.

It was about Day 60 that I first noticed Millie audibly counting out the time. In the year-plus since then, hubby and I invented several theories about why she counts like this as she is watching the clock: It’s to aid sleep, like counting sheep; she is reminding herself what the time is because she is anxious about time; it’s a kind of prayer or mantra. I wouldn’t ask Millie about it because I don’t want to make her self-conscious, then she would feel that she shouldn’t do it, even though she is compelled to. I don’t want to make her anxious, and I don’t want to make her stop. I just want to understand.

This morning, as I paused to listen, I noticed that the counting made her out of breath. With congestive heart failure, she is often out of breath after minimal movement, such as sitting up in bed. Why then does she put herself through this? Why does she not count in her mind only, to save her breath?
Sometimes she skips the hour and says “thirty-two, thirty-two, thirty-two” and sometimes, inexplicably, like she did one evening last week, she mutters “eight sixty-six, eight sixty-six, eight sixty-six.” Sixty-six? Maybe it’s not the time she is keeping track of. Perhaps she just needs to say something to know she is alive.

I think that this counting, clock-watching habit is just another way that she builds her world. I suppose it’s not my job to understand what she is doing, only to keep her safe and cared for. And to accept every odd and challenging thing that comes my way. That’s why they call it caregiving.

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