ElderCare: What Will it Cost You?

Due to physical or mental impairment, Grandma or Grandma or old Uncle James can no longer live alone, and you think you can help in your home. After all, you and/or your partner both work from home, and can watch out for a loved one’s well-being during the day. Do it for love, but know what it will cost you.

Start with these numbers. Modify to your situation. Be realistic. Be patient. If your elderly loved one has her own money for these items, you are better off, but keep reading anyway.

Food  $300 per month over your current food expenses. I know what you’re thinking: just set out an extra plate, what’s the big deal? Seriously, do NOT try to feed old people out of the same larder as the rest of your family. Typical American meals might kill Grandpa. The elderly can’t be fed cheap foods or fast foods because they often have serious health problems requiring no salt/low salt, high fiber, easy chew, or supplemented foods.  The cooks in your family will prepare more from scratch.  The shopper in your family will be willing to drive a few extra miles to the healthier-food market across town, and to learn to read nutrition labels. Which are fascinating, actually.

Utilities   Add 10% to the amount on your usual bills. You will use more energy in extra heating (old people feel colder) and lighting (night light, forgetfulness). Your formerly “green” abode will use a lot more water when Grandma opens the taps completely to brush her teeth or wash her dentures. Uncle James with dementia will wander off, forgetting that the taps were ever on.

Diapers  $30 per month. Old people are incontinent and messy. Budget $1.00 per day for adult diapers. That’s one diaper a day if they have good control or only small leakages. Double or triple this if your elder has very poor control.  If you purchase in volume, the unit price of a medium absorption adult diaper can be down as low as 50 cents.

Personal care products  $50 per month for toothpaste or denture cleaner and adhesive, lotions for dry skin. Some elderly folks use a LOT of toilet paper and facial tissues. Grandpa may also need over-the-counter constipation aids, painkillers, diarrhea pills, vitamins.

Special bedding   You'll at least need a waterproof mattress cover on Grandma’s bed. About $40.

Entertainment  Add cost of extra connections and hardware, using local rates and costs, for internet, cable, and other tools to help them feel at home and stimulated.  (At my house this is zero dollars, because she is no longer interested in television or computers.)

Cleaning   Carpet shampoo or similar floor cleaning services. $50-$500 as needed. There will be spilled food on the floor, as well as spilled blood, urine, vomit, and excrement. Even if watched closely, the demented elderly can swiftly evacuate hideous messes—unconsciously or consciously—from their bodies. Besides the contents from inside their bodies, there are other messes to be made, and old people will make them. They will intentionally shake a napkin full of spit-out salad onto the floor. They will step in dog poo outside without noticing, and neglect to wipe their feet on the doormat. Unpleasant things will happen in your house, and you will get used to them. You will learn to accept what you get with your elderly loved one, because he used to be the witty, caring guy who taught you how to drive 30 years ago.
Furniture cleaning services. $10-$100 as needed for (see above) body messes on sofa, chair, and bed. In case you didn’t know, Grandma’s unattended ink pen can empty completely into the upholstery if left for 12 hours positioned on the green loveseat so that the tip can empty into the fabric through some mysterious wicking process. And that @!*&#  stain is never coming out, even for $100.

Damage  Grandpa has trouble with balance, so he uses his walker everywhere in the house. It's terrific that he is mobile, but since his vision and coordination are pretty bad, he will bang his walker into your walls, moldings, doors, cabinets, furniture, screens, wastebaskets, lamps, and potted plants, even those that you thought were out of his path, and out of his space. Just consider all space as his space. Budget $$$ as needed for damage repair, and a storage unit for fragile items.

Modifying the home  You may need to add the cost of prepping the house for your elder person. Special bed, chair, toilet modification, door locks, bath aids, built-in bars and rails may be necessary. Those numbers are not here.

This chat does not include anything about medical expenses. I figure that Grandma is on Medicare, and she has he own small income to pay her Medicare supplement and any applicable copays.

Bottom line for costs of elder care. Depends on your situation/setup and the income and condition of the elderly person, but start with $5000 per year, and adjust accordingly. If Grandma can’t afford that, decide if you can.

Then decide if you can handle the other things that will happen.